I am assuming that the information I came across on the Internet accurately reflects Elder Ephraim’s viewpoint. An Orthodox theologian told me that Elder Ephraim's teaching on marriage is not Orthodox. And another Orthodox theologian told me that he tells people to stay clear of Elder Ephraim. I would argue that Elder Ephraim’s view sounds a bit Gnostic. Sometimes Orthodox people affirm concepts which sounds like they are talking about another religion.
According to Elder Ephraim and his monastery, if a person gets married, he or she is probably going to go to hell.
This is my response:
His claim is so thoroughly unbiblical and so thoroughly unchristian it is baffling.
MY LETTER
Elder Ephraim, Is it true that you bless married people to separate in order to become monks, and teach that married couples have a slim chance of being Saved? The Bible, which is inspired by the Holy Spirit, honors marriage, but doesn't say a word about monasticism and all it entails --vows, absolute obedience to a superior, etc. Your view that people can separate from their spouse is not endorsed by the Scriptures (or the Holy Spirit), and contradicts the Holy Spirit. God would never approve of someone contradicting the revelation He has already given on a topic. Marriage is a blessed sacrament of the Church, and is honored in Holy Scripture. (Update: I was informed by Orthodox sources that the Church does bless some spouses to separate in order to become monastics. While I do believe this is selfish and unbiblical, I will leave it to the judgment of God).
The Lord Jesus taught that marriage is indissoluble. The only exception is unfaithfulness. (See Matthew 19:8).
"The man who hates and divorces his wife," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "does violence to the one he should protect," says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful." (Malachi 2:16 ).
Jesus taught: "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder."(Mark 10:9).
Saint Paul instructs: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" (Ephesians 5:25; See also 1 Peter 3:7). He is hardly loving his wife when he selfishly separates from her and joins a monastery, which is disobedience to Scripture. The only reason a spouse would separate in order to join a monastery, is if he or she were indoctrinated into believing that he or she is being a bad person for being married.
St. Paul also instructed: “But if any provide not for his own, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Tim 5:8).
"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." (1 Peter 3:7).
Says St. Paul, "Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed." (1Cor. 7:27).
Says Jesus Christ, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Mark 10:9).
St. Peter and the apostles said "We ought to obey God rather than men." (Acts 5:29).
"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled:" (Hebrew 13:14).
The idea that married couples have a slim chance of salvation, is totally heretical and absolutely non-christian and non-biblical--and contradicts the Gospel on how a person is justified by God.
Saint Paul advised young women to marry. He wrote: "I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." (1Timothy 5:14).
He also said that married women will be saved in child bearing (1 Timothy 2:15). If he believed married couples had a slim chance of being saved, he never would have said these things. Do you believe you are above St. Paul?
In addition, the idea that married couples should not enjoy sex, is also not a biblical or apostolic concept. Ideas like this came from non-biblical heretics (Manichean's, Encratites and Gnostics) none of whom were authorized by God to teach. They were only giving their own subjective opinions, but God never said their teachings are inspired. The Gnostic heretic Marcion is said to have forbidden marriage, regarding sexual relations as a degrading act. (See Tertullian, Adv. Marc. 1.29). More on Gnosticism below.
In 1 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul encourages people who burn with lust to get married. He said this because they're going to want to have sex. He did not say a word about not enjoying the sexual experience. The biblical assumption is that married people are going to have sex. Your concepts are post-apostolic, man-made, and lacking in divine authority. God gave us His commandments, and He never said enjoying sex within marriage is a sin. Good sex promotes good mental health. (See Meier et al, Introduction to Psychology and Counseling). Are you advocating for mental illness?
St. Paul says that in the last days false teachers will be guilty of "Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth." (1 Timothy 4:3). "
“But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned..." (1Cor. 7:28).
Elder Ephraim, do you believe in continuing revelation? In this case it would be revelation that contradicts previous revelation. God cannot contradict Himself.
Married women were holy: "For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:" (1 Peter 3:5).
Says the inspired text of the Christian Bible: "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22). Do you agree? if not, why?
Says the Holy Spirit in Proverbs 5:18-19: "Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love."
Old Testament prophets like Moses, Samuel, Ezekiel, Hosea, the patriarchs Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob were married. Noah and the transfigured Enoch also had wives.
St. Irenaeus: "Springing from Saturninus and Marcion, those who are called Encratites [a branch of gnosticism; literally means "self-controlled"] preached against marriage, thus setting aside the original creation of God and indirectly blaming him who made them male and female for the propagation of the race." (Against Heresies I:28:1).
Council of Braga II (561): "If anyone condemns human marriage and has a horror of the procreation of living bodies, as Manichaeus and Priscillian have said, let him be anathema."
According to John Meyendorff, the Orthodox Church holds firmly to the decisions of the Council of Gangra (340), which radically rejected the opinion of those who were against marriage. (Marriage: An Orthodox Perspective, p.60).
Says this council:
”If anyone shall condemn marriage..., let him be anathema (Canon 1).
"If anyone of those who are living a virgin life for the Lord's sake shall treat arrogantly the married, let him be anathema." (Canon 10).
Marriage promotes mental and physical health when compared to single people. (Carr and Springer, 2010).
When men marry, they fare better in almost every respect--physical health, mental health, earnings, life expectancy, and so on. (The Case for Marriage, by Waite and Gallagher 2000).
Please also note, tollhouse four presents a problem for people who enjoy their food or are gluttonous. But Elder Ephraim and those with him enjoy their food. There are no tollhouses condemning marriage, but Elder Ephraim condemned marriage.
According to John Meyendorff, the view that the only purpose of marriage is for the procreation of children was held by ancient Jews. It is not the Orthodox view. Fr. John teaches that marriage is a positive commitment of the couple, not only to each other, but also to Christ. (p. 50), not something bad.
In my view, the reason why some monastics advocate the necessity of monasticism is because they are jealous since they cannot have sex, and they want to bring these people into their suffering. I wouldn’t claim to be able to prove this, but it is my opinion.
I spoke to him once and he did not bring it up to object to marriage.